The journey started when I first saw the
movie border in 1997 and decided to become an army officer when I was just 8
years old. The interest started becoming a passion and I went close to the army
more and more. At that time I didn't knew about ssb and the selection
procedure.
Then I grew up went to higher classes and got the
knowledge about other professions but at the back of the mind the passion for
the army remained. I knew about the armed forces from a very tender age as my
uncle and my maternal grandfather was in the Indian air force. During this
journey I met the parents of shaheed captain Anuj Nayyar and heard about the
bravery of their son in the kargil war. He was honored with the mahaveer
chakra. This journey inspired me to apply for the armed forces after I passed
out from the school.
I took admission in an engineering college
in Jaipur and on the day when I was leaving for the college I received my ssb
call letter for the army tes entry to be held in Bhopal. I was very happy and
all the sadness to leave my house went away. I had to report to the selection
center in October 2007, I applied for leaves and went to Bhopal with my father
as this was the first time I was going out alone. My father stayed in a hotel
and I decided that if I go out on the first day then we will leave together on
the same day. I went to the center in the afternoon and in total 88 candidates reported,
all the formalities were done on the same day and we were sent to our barracks.
Then we reported on the next day for our screening test and in the afternoon
the results were declared and I got screened in, total 25 got screened in. i
went to my father in the evening and informed him and told him to leave as it
will take 4 more days and I came back. The real selection procedure started the
next day and for me everything was new and I decided to give my best and enjoy
the selection procedure. The psychology day ended and we went outside to visit
places in Bhopal and we used share a nice time in the barracks. Then from the
next day the GTO tasks started and I felt as I was taken to a ground to play
around and perform certain tasks as briefed. I started getting the feel of army
and I felt as if I am leading an army life. I saw others performing in the GTO
tasks and felt as if I am lacking certain preparation and skills. Then in
between I was called for an interview in the afternoon which lasted for 45
minutes and this was the first time that I interacted with someone in a formal
manner and spoke so much about me. Amongst all the candidates I shared a great
bond with one of the candidate from Mangalore. So now the end or the conference
day was fast approaching and I was very sure that I will not make it as some my
friends in the group performed better than me so I called my mom and told her
that I would be coming back tomorrow and my friend also called and said the
same thing. On the conference day we were prepared for the results as nothing
special was asked from us during the conference. After the lunch the moment
arrived, I was tensed and then our GTO called out chest no. 4 and it was my
chest no. I was shocked and didn’t know how to react and the next chest no. was
5 that were of my friend, and then the GTO said “only these two are selected”.
We were looking at each other and also felt for the others. We went to the
station with them and gave a small party and we came back and informed our
parents. Then our medicals took place and unfortunately I was declared unfit
due to an injury on the toe. I went back to the college and shared the
experience and I also had to report for the AMB and RMB but didn't clear it. I
was disappointed as I spent around 3 months for the selection including the
medicals and lost a lot of time for the studies and my university exams
approached and somehow I cleared it and then I decided to apply for the ssb after
completing my engineering. During my pre final and final year I got selected
for the ues entry for both army and navy from the college.
Now I had to report again to Bhopal in
January 2011 for the ues(navy) entry. Now the real struggle began, I got
screened out and it was a shock, somehow I came to the terms and went to
Allahabad for my ues(army) entry in April 2011 and their I was conference out.
Now the things were not that rosy the way it was in 2007 and I started
introspection of my performances. Then I cleared my engineering and my only aim
was to get into the armed forces. I went to Varanasi in July 2011 after
clearing AFCAT and again got conference out. Now my attempts were increasing
and the credibility of my first recommendation was diminishing. Then I started
applying for the TGC entries and went to Allahabad in November 2011 for the
TGC-114 entry and again got conference out. Now the people around me except my
parents started raising doubts over my credentials and wanted me to stop
attempting. I never reacted to these concerns as I was confident that I have it
in me, so my introspection increased further and I gained confidence.
I was
preparing for my sixth attempt and went to Bangalore in January 2012 for the
pc(NAIC) entry and got screened out and it came as shocker to me which I never
expected after my performance, then in the same month I went to Bhopal for the SSC
gs(x) entry and got conference out. At this point of time I started thinking
about my future as I was already passed out about a year ago. So I joined a
company and started working but when I used to sleep after my work they're used
to be many questions which I asked myself that how I lost my OLQ’s? Then what is
going wrong during my attempts? Then a self-introspection of all the attempts
individually and pointing out things which could have been better. In my free
time I used to write down all the attempts in my diary and thinking about the
GTO tasks, the interview questions and how to handle them and the approach for
the psychology tests. After all I was determined to get recommended and wanted
to prove my words. Then in the month of June 2012 I again went to Bhopal for
the SSC gs(x) entry I got conference out but I saw an overall improvement in my
performance and I felt as if I came close and missed it. This gave me an extra
confidence to perform better in the future. As I believed in one thing that if
I stop attempting I will never be able to join the armed forces. Now I became a
veteran during the ssb and their used be
very less candidates with so many attempts and I used to come under the
category of recommended. After few months in November 2012 I went to Dehradun
for the AFCAT entry and it went horribly wrong and I got screened out.
At this
point of time I felt as if my dream was going out of my hands. Then I started
getting sleepless nights and only thought about improving my performance and
then I decided that I will write and speak the first thought that comes to my
mind after the stimulus or the question or the situation and will record the original
thoughts as much as possible without manipulation and without thinking about my
previous performances. I also decided to be focused on each and every task
equally and not to think about any other task or question while performing a
given task. Then I went to Bhopal in the month of December for the SSC gs(x)
entry and applied the same thoughts to the maximum and gave everything to each
and every task and put myself on every situation and gave the answer which I
could and would have done. In the interview I expressed the views which were
there in my heart and talked freely without showing any signs of nervousness.
Then on the day of conference I analyzed my whole performance and found myself confident.
I was called for the conference and was asked few basic questions and I felt I
replied well and impressed them, and then they gave me a situation and I
answered it very practically according to my capability. Then the results were
declared in the afternoon and the technical officer of the board announced the
chest no. of 5 candidates and after such a long struggle I got to hear my chest
no. on the final result again. I felt a sigh of relief and I got the feeling
that “I proved my words”.
Then in the span of 15 days I went for the army SSC (tech)
- 40 entry at Bhopal again. I just went back for one day to attend my sister’s
reception and came back for the ssb , 150 candidates reported 30 got screened
in. I got screened in and applied the same approach due to which I was able to
give my best. Then on the conference day I was called and to my surprise my
conference went for around 15-20 minutes where the IO and the board president
asked me several questions one after the other and it seemed as if they were
trying to check my response under pressure and consistency. Then after lunch
the technical officer of 21 ssb board announced the result and this time only
one candidate got recommended and that was chest no.21 and that was me. I felt
as if the time was changing and my struggle was bringing light into my life.
Unfortunately I have been declared unfit again for both the entries due to a
dental problem this time. I am undergoing a treatment which will take around
1.5 years so this incredible journey still continues…..
So aspirant candidates should not get
disappointed and should keep working hard until they reach their goal.
Author: Abhishek Dasgupta
Abhishek Dasgupta has given SSB 12 times and has been recommended 3 times.